If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
