Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
