Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
