Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I'm both gender and math confused
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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