It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
