love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
