i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Found the puke drawer
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
