how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
