there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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