dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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