i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Damn victory sex feels great
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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