You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
