Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Randomize
