Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Sorry about my life...
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
