I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize