dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
