Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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