My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
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