i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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