And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize