There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
