just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
