my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I have fence marks all over my body
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
