Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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