It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
