So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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