Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
