When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
