why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
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