Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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