Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Randomize
