Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
