It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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