Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
