This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
