yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
