Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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