He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize