My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
