Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
