I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
