the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
