I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Little spoons don't ask big questions
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
