She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
