Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Randomize
