somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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