Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
