He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
