Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
