Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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