Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
