I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
The beer is more important than you right now.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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