You're completely useless in the revolution.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
