I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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