I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
