weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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