He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
