Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Girls should come with a carfax report
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
