Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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