i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
