Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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