i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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