Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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