I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
