Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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