can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
