I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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