maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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