I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
