hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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