you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
