He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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