why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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