He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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