the new term for farting is butt boxing.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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