After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
