Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
