In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
